


Drunk as a Skunk Monster

by Mordeckakis



Series: Temmie-frisk AU [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24753886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordeckakis/pseuds/Mordeckakis
Summary: Frisk turns 21 for the very first time, and his family sees what happens when he gets some alcohol in his system.
Relationships: Alphys & Undyne (Undertale), Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asriel Dreemurr & Toriel, Asriel Dreemurr/Toriel, Chara & Frisk (Undertale), Chara/Frisk (Undertale)
Series: Temmie-frisk AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1388524
Kudos: 10





	Drunk as a Skunk Monster

Drunk as a Skunk Monster  
  
Frisk: I remember the very first time I got drunk. It was my and Chara's birthday again. I was turning 21, and she was turning 22. Normally, another birthday passing would be perrectly fine. In fact, based on some of our previous birthdays being absolute shit, we were wanting this one to just go by peacefully. But then everybody reminded me of what I could legally do right then and there. I WAS TURNING 21, which allowed me to get drunk off my ass for the very first time! That's why mom and dad stopped by my and Chara's house (we moved out the year before) with a bottle of champagne. They knocked on the door.  
  
"Ooh, wait until our son sees this! He's gonna love it!" Mom said.  
  
"Maybe so, but he should still be careful with it." Said dad.  
  
I opened the door, and I could see mom could barely hold back her enthusiasm.  
  
"Hey, mom and dad. You okay, mom?" I asked.  
  
Suddenly, mom's eyes, nose and mouth popped off of her face while she randomly spat out temmie tongue. Thanks to me being part temmie, I was able to decipher it all.   
  
"Oh, my God, young man! I absolutely cannot believe it's finally happeneing! My boy, my son, Frisk Kamina Yasuhiro, he finally turned 21 today! Oh, my goodness! I'm so proud of you right now, sweetie! I'm so happy! My son finally turned 21, and he can drink until his kidneys burst! I'm a temmie, and I'm a proud parent! That's right! Tem proud parents! Aghhh!"  
  
Now, bare in mind, I was only able to tell what she could say because the same thing happened to me once, but I was more hyperactive when I did it. Ended up bouncing off the walls, and Chara had to restrain me by lifting me high enough to where my feet couldn't touch the ground. She only used her right arm to do that. She jerks off with that arm, so...  
  
Anyway, mom's incredibly fast mouth, alongisde her eyes and nose, went right back to her face, and she gave me the bottle.  
  
"Uh... thanks, mom and dad?" I said, taking the bottle with a lot of confusion.  
  
"I think your mother may have trying to express how happy she was that you turned 21!" Said dad.  
  
"YES! TEM SO HAPPY FOR SON! TEM WAN HIM 2 HAS BOTL! TEM PROUD PARENT!" Mom said in our tongue, confirming she was proud... again.  
  
"Tem hApy 4 mom. Tem wan parens 2 cUm iN haUs." I said in my people's tongue.  
  
"Oh, tEm and HOomAn gLAdly cOme N haOs! CelEbrAt wiT suN!"  
  
Mom and dad came inside, and they sat at the table with mom vibrating intensly enough to give Chara a reason to use her as a back massager. I was a little creeped out by that until dad started scratching the back of her head, which caused her to stop vibrating and come back to her senses. Boy, did she snap out of it.  
  
"Ah. That feels great. Thanks, honey." She said, feeling dad's comfortable hand scratching and pawing through her hair.  
  
"Frisk honey, your father and I was hoping this day would come. You are 21 now, and that means legally speaking, the government gave you a present: the gift of being able to drink as much as you want, preferably within reason and responsibly, but they'll let you be reckless if you have a designated driver." Mom said in a very specific manner.  
  
"Why did you say designated driver?" I asked.  
  
"Because we're gonna be them tonight. You and your friends can get as drunk as you want, and we'll be there to pick you all up."  
  
"What, you're gonna drive us there and then back or something?"  
  
"Yes, but we'll need Toriel's car and someone else's car."  
  
"And what about drinks? Are you guys paying for them?"  
  
No, you make way more than enoguh money, so you guys foot the bill."  
  
"Okay. I'll take what I can get."  
  
"Well, I'm glad that's settled. Now call your friends, and tell them the good news!"  
  
It didn't even take ten minutes for them all to get wild for my birthday, and they were all happy about it. I didn't care much because originally my and Chara's birthday plan was just to have anal until Chara looked pregnant with my baby gravy up her ass. But I suppose getting drunk with your girlfriend and your friends and family was a good substitute. Or at least that's what I thought.  
  
Chara and I pretty much got to fuck upstairs for a while, and everybody else except for my parents heard while doing something else downstairs. I can't tell whether they went back outside or if they simply did nothing and stayed in the house. According to Sans, they stayed, but they also had earplugs in, so they couldn't hear what Chara and I were doing upstairs, thank God. My parents witnessed me having sex with Chara once, and apparently, mom still gets grossed out just thinking about it. Sans also gets grossed out, but he doesn't like sex at all, so that's a given. Also, according to what Undyne said, they were playing video games and board games downstairs while Chara and I were "celebrating our birthday" in our own way.  
  
We finished an hour and a half later, but it was 6pm, so mom and dad came upstairs and knocked, asking us if we were ready to go. Frantically, Chara and I got dressed. We rushed downstairs, and mom and dad followed us, with mom looking a little green in her face.  
  
"Tem noz thins tem shouldn't." She said, knowing what I did with Chara.  
  
I blushed and looked away from her while dad got everybody's attention.  
  
"All right, everybody! So we all know why we're here, right?! It's my son's birthday again! Not just any birthday, though! It's his 21st, which means now he can drink like the rest of us!" Dad declared, getting cheers abound.  
  
"Yeah. So! We're going to a bar tonight! Let's go and get him drunk and show him what he had to miss out on for so long!"  
  
"YEAH! LET'S GET FUCKING PLASTERED!" Roared Undyne.  
  
Toriel cheered, knowing she would get wasted, and thanked my parents.  
  
"What? Oh, no. We're not paying for your drinks! We're just taking you there and back!" Mom clarified.  
  
She got met with a few disappointed utterances.  
  
"Well, at least we got a designated driver." Said Sans.  
  
"Yeah, but we'll need the keys to your car. Toriel's, too."  
  
Sans and Toriel threw the keys to their cars at mom, and she caught them, giving dad one set from Sans.  
  
Thirty minutes later, we all got to a bar, and it was a bit crowded. The music was a bit loud, and people were getting drunk all over the place. Chara and I stepped out of the car, but both of our moms pulled us aside.  
  
"Before you go inside, you need to remember a few things: one, pace yourself when you drink. Two, remember to keep your nutrients up, and eat something, too. That's gonna make the alcohol have less of an effect on you. Lastly, drink water, too. The hangover gets weaker if you keep your water up, too." My mom said.  
  
"Erica's right. Also, don't pick a fight with anybody while you're drunk. I know it might not matter now, but trust me. When people get drunk, they do really stupid things, like going to a place that's obviously closed to fight someone who's obviously not there." Toriel warned, making sure Chara heard her.  
  
"And why would anybody do that?" Asked Chara.  
  
"Because when you're drunk, your ability to make proper judgments is impaired a great deal. Depending on your body's tolerance, it can be extreme or slight. Alcohol also has the effect of lowering one inhibitions, which makes you liable to do or say things you wouldn't do with a sober mind. So as the commericals say, please drink responsibly."  
  
"Mom, I'm not gonna be responsible when I'm drinking. In fact, I might just get as reckless as you do."  
  
"I have never been more proud of you in my life. I love you, Chara."  
  
"You're proud of me being irresponsible when it comes to drinking? Mom, you have a drinking problem."  
  
"And I sure as fuck ain't gonna fix it."  
  
"Let's just get inside. The sooner you get drunk, the better."  
  
That would've been a tender moment if Toriel didn't say what she did, but I was still gonna take my mom's advice, especially since I had an empty stomach to go on.  
  
It started out simple enough. I got some food, I got a drink. But mom and dad went back to one of the cars. My strong sense of hearing heard suction, implying mom and dad were also having fun on my birthday. I shuddered a little and welcomed the drink for a moment. But as I got it in my mouth, I was on the verge of spiting it out, noticing how bad it tasted.  
  
"Sorry, man. Got anything more palatable?" I asked, giving the drink back.  
  
"It's an acquired taste, kid. This your first drink?" The bartender asked, giving my drink back.  
  
"Yeah." I replied.  
  
"Oh. Just turned 21, eh? Well, try this one instead."  
  
The bartender whipped me up another drink, but this time, he used butterscotch in it. Immediately, I was ready to guzzle it down, and by the time he set it down, I was ready for it.  
  
"Try it now." He said.  
  
I tried the drink, and it was good. Man, was it good.  
  
"Yeah, our temmies seem to like that butterscotch one." He said as I kept drinking it up until it was gone.  
  
"Hey, can I get some water? Also, keep the drinks coming." I said, setting down some bills in front of him.  
  
He took the bills and whipped up a couple more of those butterscotch ones I liked, and he gave me a cup of ice water, about 16 ounces, I think. Started drinking it down, too.  
  
However, I finally started to get lightheaded and dizzy.  
  
"Whoa. Am I starting to get drunk finally?" I asked myself aloud.  
  
"That's called tipsy, kid. Welcome to grown up life." The bartender said, setting down another one of those butterscotch drinks as Sans sat down next to me.  
  
"Pint of guiness, please." Sans said, looking visibly drunk.  
  
The bartender got him a pint, and he poured it into his eyesocket after, making it empty. I freaked out a bit, finally finding out how he eats.  
  
"Holy shit, Sans! You eat through you eyesockets?!" I yelled.  
  
"Not just through my eyesockets. I also have a digedtive system similar to yours, except my body turns what's left into dust and ectoplasm."  
  
"Does the dust come from the food and the ectoplasm from liquids or something?"  
  
Sans drunkenly snickered while tapping his forehead, confirming I was right.  
  
"I also puke through my eyesockets. I also sometimes feel my body just turn the solid waste into dust, so I take showers every day to get rid of the excess."  
  
"So that's why you don't always eat."  
  
"That is attributed to depression."  
  
"What, you starve yourself?"  
  
That was when Sans started crying.  
  
"Pap sometimes has to make me eat when I make him something."  
  
Sans rested his head on the table.  
  
"Everything is shit nowadays. My old man's alive, and I got raped. And no one believes me!"  
  
Sans cried even harder.  
  
"Bartender! Give me another!"  
  
The bartender shook his head as he got Sans another guiness. Normally, I would try to console him, but that time, I wasn't in the mood as I took another one of my butterscotch drinks.  
  
The night rolled around, and I finally got fully drunk. Undyne and Alphys were fucking in the restroom, and Chara was coming onto people, but one of them tried to fight Chara off, and she didn't like that, so Chara threw them away from her. I was swaying about, feeling the alcohol's effects, but not as strongly as everyone else, due to me following mom's advice. Sans and Papyrus were acting like Catty and Bratty about people, with Sans talking about me at some point. I walked by him and smacked the back of his head.  
  
"Stop talking about me, you prick." I told him with a drunken anger.  
  
"I'll talk about whoever the fuck I want, you dirty killer." Sans said as he tried to stay straight.  
  
The skeleton then proceeded to fall flat on his face. Papyrus just stared at him.  
  
"Why, why, why, why... I forgot what... huh? Oh, hi, Frisk." Papyrus said, too drunk to remember what he was saying.  
  
"I'm awake! I'm just... gonna fucking..."  
  
Sans stopped talking and started laughing and crying. Clearly, he's been hiding emotions about himself that comes out when he drinks. It's weird seeing him like that.  
  
 ** _"WHY CAN'T I FUCKING STOP JUDGING!"_**  
  
Sans cried again even louder. Then he grabbed me and cried on my chest. I got annoyed and angry real fast.  
  
"Frisk, can you just kill me, please? I just... don't wanna live anymore."  
  
"Get off of me, you prick." I said, trying to peel him off.  
  
Sans drunkenly cried again as he was forced off of me by Papyrus, who smelled like whiskey.  
  
"Don't... don't tell Mettaton, but... I have a thing for him. I'm gonna... I'm gonna rewire his hard drive. Fuck, he's hot." Said Papyrus.  
  
I was surprised. Never had I ever heard Papyrus say the word "fuck" in front of me. It was eye-opening, that was for sure. I wandered about to the Dreemurrs... and Ms. Toriel. Asriel and Asgore seems to be lightweights because they fell asleep. Then again, according to the bartender, Asgore drank the equivalent to one keg of wine, so of course he'd nod off. Asriel, however, doesn't have much of an excuse, especially since he guzzled down two beers and fell asleep. Toriel, however, was downing three bottles of vodka, and she was getting drunk, not dead. She reeked of Pink Breegull Vodka, and I sat down next to her.  
  
"Happy birthday, Frisk." She said in a drunken stupor.  
  
"Yeah, thanks." I said to her, drunk but not in the mood.  
  
"You're jealous of Asriel, aren't you?"  
  
"Not anymore."  
  
"So you don't want me?"  
  
"The only reason I still find you attractive is because I like women that are older than me, like Chara for instance."  
  
"You don't mean that, do you?"  
  
"Yeah, I do."  
  
"What about your mommy?"  
  
"I don't care how drunk I get. I would never do what you and Asriel do."  
  
"What we do is nature."  
  
"Admittedly, yes, but that doesn't make it acceptable. What you and your son do is frighteningly common. What's rare is admitting you do it, and that's what you're doing because you don't have enough shame to stop."  
  
Toriel took a swig from her bottle.  
  
"I have plenty of shame."  
  
"No, you have plenty to be ashamed OF! And I'm absolutely certain that a lot of people would agree with me."  
  
"We're just relatives having relations. The term is consanguinamory."  
  
"Well, here's another term, and I'm saying it in the most line-crossingly offensive way I can think of, and it's even easier and more well known to say. In fact, here's what it is: **_INCEST_**."  
  
Toriel pulled me close to her, and the vodka smell got much stronger.  
  
"Watch your fucking tongue. Do you know how many people would love to jump on the opportunity to discredit me?"  
  
"That's the thing, Ms. Toriel. Once you get that out there, you can't put it away."  
  
"Just don't say it in public, you rude drunk."  
  
"I'll mention what you say or do wherever the fuck I want. And you can't stop me from it, either. I mentioned that I wouldn't say it, but don't think I won't 'forget' that promise."  
  
Toriel let out a grunt that told me I trapped her right where I wanted her.  
  
"That's what I thought." I mocked.  
  
"What do you want?" She asked.  
  
"Another drink. And some water to go with it."  
  
Toriel called the bartender over, and I ordered another drink while she quickly finished the bottle of vodka and asked for another.  
  
"Sorry, ma'am. You've had enough." The bartender said as he made me another drink.  
  
"I wanna hear it... from that douchebag over there." Toriel slurred, pointing her intoxicated hand to Sans.  
  
I groaned as Sans waddled over to Toriel.  
  
"Yo, Tori. Thinkya... had enough or something?" Sans asked, leaning himself onto her to keep his balance.  
  
"Nah. Fine. I can't have more, give Sans another on my dime!"  
  
Toriel snickered while shelling out more cash, and Sans ordered yet another guiness. The bartender groaned as he gave me my drink and another water. I gave myself more alcohol to imbibe in and made quick work of the water. Sans tried to snatch it out of my hand, but then Toriel stopped him with a loud burp.  
  
 **UUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!**  
  
It would've been funny if it weren't so pathetic, especially since her breath smelled of vodka and raspberries. Sans, however, saw a great deal of humor in the woman he claims to call friend, the same one who called him a douchebag not long ago from that moment. It was mortifying, to say the least. After I finished, I decided I had enough and fumbled my way out of the bar, but not before giving the bartender $300 to help pay for my tab and the other people's tabs. My friends and skeleton brothers were gonna be weird for a while, and since I still had a little sobriety, I figured why make a criminal record when I can prevent it instead, which made the bartender tell me I paid too much. I just told him to use it for the people who came with me. He did, but I stopped caring. All I wanted to do was go home and get away from these people. I guess drinking makes me an antisocial pessimist, or even a mean drunk. I went back to where my parents were waiting and stepped inside the car. I slammed the door as I got inside, making my presence known. Both of them stopped flirting with each other long enough to acknowledge me.  
  
"Frisk, you okay?" They asked me.  
  
"I'm drunk, and I'm pissed off. Just leave me alone and go back to what you were doing." I told them.  
  
Both of them disregarded what I said until an hour later when everybody we came with made their drunken ways out to the cars they came in. Dad left the car mom and I were in, and escorted Alphys, Undyne and Asgore into the other car. The rest filed into the car I was in.  
  
"Is this everybody?" I asked, forgetting what happened for a moment.  
  
"Your father's in the other car. So is Undyne, Alphys and His Majesty the king. Alright, where to first?"  
  
"That sweet toned ass, Erica." Chara blurted out in a drunken stupor.  
  
Everybody but mom and I laughed with an intoxicated aura. I wanted nothing of the type.  
  
"Oh, ha ha, very funny. Just take us home, please." I said.  
  
Of course mom and dad brought us back to our homes, but everybody got weirded out by me. Apparently, alcohol was supposed to make me jovial and friendly, but really all that happened was me being angry at everybody. Maybe it brought out my nature or something? I didn't have time to figure it out as I went upstairs and went to bed at my and Chara's house. Asriel and Chara stumbled inside and propped each other up as they slept on the couch. We all essentially made it back to our homes that evening, but mom and dad stayed at my house to make sure we wouldn't do anything we'd regret.  
  
The next morning was met with headaches aplenty. Mine wasn't as bad as Asriel or Chara's, but it still hurt. Mom and dad were fixing some breakfast in the kitchen as I walked in for some orange juice and seltzer water.  
  
"Sweetie, how was your night last night?" Asked mom.  
  
"It was irritating. I thought alcohol is supposed to make me happy or something." I replied.  
  
"Not exactly. Alcohol just brings out feelings you had hidden to the surface. Whether you remember or not is completely up to chance. Like your girlfriend in the living room."  
  
I turned my attention to Chara and Asriel, who were slumped over with icepacks on their heads.  
  
"Go away." Chara croaked, keeping the pack on her forehead.  
  
"Didn't mom tell you to be careful when you drink?" I whispered.  
  
Chara suddenly raised up and brought an trashcan to her face, puking inside it. I shook my head in disappointment, seeing that Chara acted exactly like Ms. Toriel when she drinks. I went to mom and dad in the kitchen.  
  
"Mom, thanks for teaching me how to drink last night. If you hadn't, that would've been me on the couch." I told her.  
  
"No problem, son. Now sit down. All that standing isn't good for a hangover." She said.  
  
I did what she did, but I saw why she said that. I felt my headache get a little worse. But it didn't matter. All I know is that I'm glad I didn't get blackout drunk. I still wonder to this day what could've happened if I did.

**Author's Note:**

> Frisk: Despite me being drunk, I learned a bit about people. Sans is apparently depressed and hasn't seeked help because he doesn't think he deserves it, and Toriel doesn't regret what she did with Asriel. Creepy stuff, but when everybody found out I get mean when I'm drunk, they all seemingly wanted me to get into anger management classes. They don't get they're why I had that anger. All the shit I put up with, and you guys think that would help? It didn't work when they tried to convince me, and they had to drop it since.


End file.
